Sabtu, 24 Januari 2009

Wake Up!!!

It's very seldom for me to discuss about my own flaw (because I'm a flawless person, you know) but like they say: "Even a squirrel will failed a jump", so that's happen to me. I'll tell you what.

Sunday, January 18 2009 AC
The day of TM 2. It would be held at 7.00 AM.
It was a beautiful day. The birds were singing I Write Sins Not Tragedies (what?! How could a bird sang an alternative song?! whatever...). The sunshine passed through my slightly opened window, flooding my face with enchanted power of the morning, giving me a new hope, new passion, new determination....
I open my eyes slowly and look at the clock:
7.05 AM.

Oh shit...
I woke up late.

Suddenly, my N95 (ehhhmm..) ringing. It was a phone call from Pat Kai (You know him...). I picked up my phone, said something (my mind were working super fast at that time, I can't remember what I said to him), ran to the bathroom, toothbrushing, and change the wardrobe.

So...

HELL YEAH, I DID NOT TAKE A BATH!!!

I rode my way as fast as I could to the campus, only to find that the meeting isn't held yet. Damn man, if I knew about this I would take a bath first. But that's fine, nobody could say it. I am as cool as always, either I took a bath or not.

And now I know one thing: I am not the only one who didn't take a bath at that day, there are approximately 2 other person who didn't either. One of them is MR. NAKJONG (couldn't ask more from him), and the other one? Let's keep it as a secret, she will be mad at me if I told you guys... WAIT!!! Did I just say "she"? Oh crap, that's your clue... She's a girl. OK, that's all. Find out her ID yourself. Khukhukhu...

When the meeting finally opened, it's the day of revelation for us, the revelation of mountainous tasks for these unfortunate students. The tasks were:

1. We have to make a data of ourself, consisting of full name, nick name (like TOKAI for F****, BALIBUNG for D***, etc), place and date of birth, religion, recent and past address, our quote, skills and interest, and the name of high school where we came from with a close up (not the toothpaste, you dickhead) photo in a same format for 223 people.

Sounds easy, right? But my pet named Faizal did this job 3 days nonstop, causing him to degenerate from a human form into a homo form (oh, sorry. But Faizal is in homo form from the beginning, yes...). Poor Faizal, he was so tired until he finally slept on the chair in Ijek's house... And that's a BIG, BIG mistake, my friend...

Armed with a board marker, the evil genius Ijek (I1A008003) started to crafted his newest contemporary art: Face painting with our tender model Mr. Faizal from Sampit!! Oh yes baby, that's what happen if you caught up off guard in that devilish smelly cursed house. Ijek steps forward, feeling his own passion peaking in front of nicely, cute, sleepy Faizal (That's because IJEK IS A HOMO too, my friend... Don't be fooled by his outer appearance). Ijek shuts his eyes, feeling his soul screams for a new victim, and his right hand finally moving on its own like Michaelangelo painting on the ceiling of Basilica St. Peter (that's a trivia for you guys). Next to Ijek our photographers were ready with their own cellphone. Like Darwis Triadi they started to take picture of our role model from various angle. Watching this character annihilation, I only do nothing but pray for Faizal's soul, let him in peace and stay there for eternity (As if he's already dead, hehehe...).

Want to see the upcoming picture of our beloved friend Faizal after the revolutionary make over? I present to you now:















I am sorry brother, freedom of speak sometimes drives you out of control...

2. We have to cover a 20-pages book with a green paper for boys and orange for girls. No problem with this task. I've got nothing to complain for.

3. Typing 25 names with their NIM each from PSPD, PSKM, PSIK, and PSPsi using a typing machine. No problem again, I am a good typer. My fingers are made for this job.
But I found out one of my friend, (again) Ijek was having a problem with this job. He can't stop complaining about his typing machine. He is do less and talk more. Come on, gay... Can't you see Nawis doing his job easily? If Nawis can, why don't you?

4. Making a name tag, with 4 flower petals around it. I didn't do this job since it was BALIBUNG and MR. NAKJONG part of work. On the front side of the name tag we have to type our full name, NIM, study program, quote, and our disease history. On the rear side we put our close up photo with a cartoon or anime character that resembling ourself. I want to use Fye D. Flourite at the begining, but instead of Fye I finally took Kon from BLEACH... Damn it.
Adding to my surprise, many of those lack-of-self-recognition people using a divinity, pretty, goddess character like Yuna (oh please, Yuna? An angel like her?) and Rinoa (God, please forgive their insolent soul). If someone using Aerith's photo, I'll stab her from behind. Really.

5. Bringing various item like mineral water, bread, and sock with the same format again. Easy task. I never concerned about it, actually.

That's not done yet. On the first day of LKMM we have to wear a black shirt with a white, homo-like long pant and a black shoes. This situation is getting worse since we must wear our shitty yellow suit, making us look like a walking piece of shit.
Frankly speaking, I still can go on with the task and the dress-code, really. But what I hate most is when they say:

WE HAVE TO SHAVE OUR HEAD LIKE A DAMN MARBLE!!! LIKE A DAMN TUYUL!!! OH, FOR A GOD SAKE!!!

Haven't you had enough with the P2B? Now I have to let my priceless hair cut off once again? What kind of humiliation is this? Is this a new form of imperialism? Where's GOD? Is fairness lost from this world? What is the meaning of freedom of expression? What is the meaning of democracy? Constitutionals are just a nice talk of a bloody god damn hippies? Fucking shit!!! Hiks...

Say this people:

HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT

Various way were suggested by our freedom warrior like Albert, Farid, Felix, Mustaqim, etc to prevent this ghoulish, full of world government conspiracy plan from becoming reality, but the defense of The Scourge (what?!) consisting of Fajri, Fatria, Yosef, Putra, and Oky were too tight and strong... We have to admit our defeat, we have to admit that we're the loser. So then, ADIOS AMIGO... I'll have to wait another half a year for my hair to grow long again...

We cut our hair together in a barbershop at the end of Banjarbaru. And whoah... Our heads are back to bald again!! Adding to our pain, one of this crappy baldy kid named (again) Ijek once again proved that he's a pure idiot by asking us to go to Andre (some kind of cafe where you can eat, drink, or just sit while having fun with your worthless friends,, a trivia for fucking NERDs).

What's wrong with going to Andre after you cut off your entire hair?

Andre is a place where youngster usually hang out together. 6 persons showing up in Andre with a baldy head? I'm afraid if someone say this:

BEHAPA GUNDUL-GUNDUL NINI? HANDAK MAIN BANGA KAH?

Suddenly, a woman came in while holding her baby (since he's a baby of course he's bald). And then Ijek's baldy head glowing in the dark like a lamp, means he just got a bright idea. With a shitty expression, Ijek asks the baby:

KENAPA DING GUNDUL JUA? HANDAK LKMM JUA KAH DING?

...

...

So, that's the beginning of a horror disguised behind an activity named LKMM, next I'll tell you what happened to us on those 2 days of LKMM. Please wait patiently.

3 komentar:

  1. WAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAK
    HAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAG.....

    bagaimana kehidupan faizal setelah kejadian ini ??

    Everone will call him HOMMMOOOOOO !!!!!!
    tiiiiidddaaakkkkkk !!!!!
    apa salah faisal ?? apa salah anak muda yang ga normal ini ( nah loh ? )???

    minta fotonya kawan lah !! buat koleksi !! nyaman pank yang beisi kamera nih !!

    BalasHapus
  2. LUAR BIASA . . . !!!!!

    BalasHapus
  3. hmmmm

    well done ....

    enjoy ur time before your head is full of hair

    BalasHapus